What happened to you lately? Are there any unfortunate events and twisted turns in your life these past few days or weeks? How about this month or last month? I guess I do have.
This year has been the worst year in my life so far. Not because it's the end of the world or there are a lot of related series of unexplained circumstances and turmoils that are happening in our world and consecutive crimes / killings but because of the worst things happened in my life so far.
This year, I have gone to Bureau of Immigration almost everyday from November 2011 until late June and though I felt really exhausted and annoyed because of the people working in that government office and going there spending money to take a taxi (if there's no van, but of course they give refund for that) and the heat of the sun caused my skin to be tanned and it was always a burden on my part making a follow-up on all the documents that we haven't gotten yet and trying to please people so that they wouldn't get mad at us,prioritize our request and almost every hour if I was there, I ate most of the time, different to my lifestyle if I was inside the academy. Gosh! What a start of the year huh?!
This year, though it's not different compared to the previous work loads and tasks I had last year, I felt that I have to exert more effort being the in-charge of the students - handling the entrance level test, checking the test papers, making of schedule and so on. It was, it is and will always be a nerve-breaking work. Sleepless nights, going home late, doing a lot of pending documents which are over the deadliest deadlines and meeting the expectations they have for you. I will always remember those times when I had to sleep here in CDU ESL to fetch some group of students up at the airport, slept late in the morning (dawn actually) and help them bring their luggage inside their rooms (though I wasn't the one who have to carry), I will always remember those times having a TFT (Task Force Team) making some syllabus, compilations of the new book, research and make some activities for the new curriculum. Those times when I had to stay at the counseling office before Marj and Jean came along and helped Janice to entertain students in changing of schedule. OMG. I did a lot of things this year compared to last year.
This year, I met a lot of students, teachers, friends and new faces and after few months, they're gone. I have fought some of the students who were rude to all the staff and tried to calm down when the "fire meets another fire". This year also, unforgettable memories are still fresh in my mind thinking where all the days gone? In a blink of an eye for a second, everything has passed us by - has passed me by and I wasn't expecting this day would come that I would write something for what happened to me lately.
This month, August, an unexpected chance of my life has come and it has changed my life, my perception and my direction. I have planned for my future of what I wanted it to be and it turned out differently. I haven't expected that my life would lead me to deep realizations and decisions I could have made before if I have known this things would come to me.
I miss them. The students who became my friends. The teachers who became close to me. The first meeting with each other, the bond, the smile, the laughter, the tears, the pat on the shoulder whenever something is wrong, the Hi's and Hello's, the friendship, the jokes, the silly words we say, the holding hands style, the dance, the songs we sing and a simple glance to each other. I miss all of those. But most of all.. the next paragraph.
Do you believe in LOVE? How far would you go to risk everything to the person you love? Is it really a myth meeting a person by chance and you suddenly fall head over heels with that person? I don't know with that but for me, seems like an endless cycle of loving and hurting. Endless..
I met a person whom I guess meant a lot to me while he was still here and who means a lot to me more.. NOW. I don't know what gotten into me but all I care about were my feelings and my feelings these days. It is so difficult to cope with him because rules say we couldn't be and I was wondering how on earth I got into this cage without any door to escape to. I have fallen into a deep hole and I couldn't get out..anymore.
And now, I have to think about my future. What should I choose? NOW - the present or TOMORROW - my future? Is your future safe and secured? Before, I was sure and confident. Now, I was
thinking lately about it and I am imagining how will it turn out to be? And I guess, no clue for this.
Anyway, I lay everything to God and He'll decide what's best for me. It's all up to him.
That's why before this month ends, we are in a rush. August RUSH♥
What do you think?
